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2021
01-10

我的四个假想敌_余光中散文

我的四个假想敌_余光中散文
我的四个假想敌散文集发表于2018-09-20 19:48:56归属于余光中散文本文已影响人手机版  我的四个假想敌wo de si ge jia xiang di san wen ji fa biao yu 2018-09-20 19:48:56gui shu yu yu guang zhong san wen ben wen yi ying xiang ren shou ji ban   wo de si ge jia xiang di
  二女幼珊在港参加侨生联考,以第一志愿分发台大外文系。听到这消息,我松了一口气,从此不必担心四个女儿通通嫁给广东男孩了。  er nv you shan zai gang can jia qiao sheng lian kao ,yi di yi zhi yuan fen fa tai da wai wen ji 。ting dao zhe xiao xi ,wo song le yi kou qi ,cong ci bu bi dan xin si ge nv er tong tong jia gei an dong nan hai le 。
  我对广东男孩当然并无偏见,在港六年,我班上也有好些可爱的广东少年,颇讨老师的欢心,但是要我把四个女儿全部让那些“靓仔、“叻仔”掳掠了去,却舍不得。不过,女儿要嫁谁,说得洒脱些,是她们的自由意志,说得玄妙些呢,是姻缘,做父亲的又何必患得患失呢?何况在这件事上,做母亲的往往位居要冲,自然而然成了女儿的亲密顾问,甚至亲密战友,作战的对象不是男友,却是父亲。等到做父亲的惊醒过来,早已腹背受敌,难挽大势了。  wo dui an dong nan hai dang ran bing mo pian jian ,zai gang liu nian ,wo ban shang ye you hao xie ke ai de an dong shao nian ,po tao lao shi de huan xin ,dan shi yao wo ba si ge nv er quan bu rang na xie “jing zai 、“le zai ”lu lve le qu ,que she bu de 。bu guo ,nv er yao jia shei ,shui de sa tuo xie ,shi ta men de zi you yi zhi ,shui de xuan miao xie ne ,shi yin yuan ,zuo fu qin de you he bi huan de huan shi ne ?he kuang zai zhe jian shi shang ,zuo mu qin de wang wang wei ju yao chong ,zi ran er ran cheng le nv er de qin mi gu wen ,shen zhi qin mi zhan you ,zuo zhan de dui xiang bu shi nan you ,que shi fu qin 。deng dao zuo fu qin de jing xing guo lai ,zao yi fu bei shou di ,nan wan da shi le 。
  在父亲的眼里,女儿最可爱的时候是在十岁以前,因为那时她完全属于自己。在男友的眼里,她最可爱的时候却在十七岁以后,因为这时她正像毕业班的学生,已经一心向外了。父亲和男友,先天上就有矛盾。对父亲来说,世界上没有东西比稚龄的女儿更完美的了,唯一的缺点就是会长大,除非你用急冻术把她久藏,不过这恐怕是违法的,而且她的男友迟早会骑了骏马或摩托车来,把她吻醒。  zai fu qin de yan li ,nv er zui ke ai de shi hou shi zai shi sui yi qian ,yin wei na shi ta wan quan shu yu zi ji 。zai nan you de yan li ,ta zui ke ai de shi hou que zai shi qi sui yi hou ,yin wei zhe shi ta zheng xiang bi ye ban de xue sheng ,yi jing yi xin xiang wai le 。fu qin he nan you ,xian tian shang jiu you mao dun 。dui fu qin lai shui ,shi jie shang mei you dong xi bi zhi ling de nv er geng wan mei de le ,wei yi de que dian jiu shi hui chang da ,chu fei ni yong ji dong shu ba ta jiu cang ,bu guo zhe kong pa shi wei fa de ,er ju ta de nan you chi zao hui ji le jun ma huo ma tuo che lai ,ba ta wen xing 。
  我未用太空舱的冻眠术,一任时光催迫,日月轮转,再揉眼时,怎么四个女儿都已依次长大,昔日的童话之门砰地一关,再也回不去了:四个女儿,依次是珊珊、幼珊、佩珊、季珊。简直可以排成一条珊瑚礁。珊珊十二岁的那年,有一次,未满九岁的佩珊忽然对来访的客人说:“喂,告诉你,我姐姐是一个少女了!”在座的大人全笑了起来。  wo wei yong tai kong cang de dong mian shu ,yi ren shi guang cui pai ,ri yue lun zhuai ,zai rou yan shi ,zen me si ge nv er dou yi yi ci chang da ,xi ri de tong hua zhi men peng de yi guan ,zai ye hui bu qu le :si ge nv er ,yi ci shi shan shan 、you shan 、pei shan 、ji shan 。jian zhi ke yi pai cheng yi tiao shan hu jiao 。shan shan shi er sui de na nian ,you yi ci ,wei man jiu sui de pei shan hu ran dui lai fang de ke ren shui :“wei ,gao su ni ,wo jie jie shi yi ge shao nv le !”zai zuo de da ren quan xiao le qi lai 。
  曾几何时,惹笑的佩珊自己,甚至最幼稚的季珊,也都在时光的魔杖下,点化成“少女”了。冥冥之中,有四个“少男”正偷偷袭来,虽然蹑手蹑足,屏声止息,我却感到背后有四双眼睛,像所有的坏男孩那样,目光灼灼,心存不轨,只等时机一到,便会站到亮处,装出伪善的笑容,叫我岳父。我当然不会应他。哪有这么容易的事!我像一棵果树,天长地久在这里立了多年,风霜雨露,样样有份,换来果实累累,不胜负荷。而你,偶尔过路的小子,竟然一伸手就来摘果子,活该蟠地的树根绊你一较!  ceng ji he shi ,re xiao de pei shan zi ji ,shen zhi zui you zhi de ji shan ,ye dou zai shi guang de mo zhang xia ,dian hua cheng “shao nv ”le 。ming ming zhi zhong ,you si ge “shao nan ”zheng tou tou xi lai ,sui ran nie shou nie zu ,bing sheng zhi xi ,wo que gan dao bei hou you si shuang yan jing ,xiang suo you de huai nan hai na yang ,mu guang zhuo zhuo ,xin cun bu gui ,zhi deng shi ji yi dao ,bian hui zhan dao liang chu ,zhuang chu wei shan de xiao rong ,jiao wo yue fu 。wo dang ran bu hui ying ta 。na you zhe me rong yi de shi !wo xiang yi ke guo shu ,tian chang de jiu zai zhe li li le duo nian ,feng shuang yu lou ,yang yang you fen ,huan lai guo shi lei lei ,bu sheng fu he 。er ni ,ou er guo lu de xiao zi ,jing ran yi shen shou jiu lai zhai guo zi ,huo gai pan de de shu gen ban ni yi jiao !
  而最可恼的,却是树上的果子,竟有自动落入行人手中的样子。树怪行人不该擅自来摘果子,行人却说是果子刚好掉下来,给他接着罢了。这种事,总是里应外合才成功的。当初我自己结婚,不也是有一位少女开门揖盗吗?“堡垒最容易从内部攻破”,说得真是不错。不过彼j时也,此一时也。同一个人,过街时讨厌汽车。开车时却讨厌行人。现在是轮到我来开车。  er zui ke nao de ,que shi shu shang de guo zi ,jing you zi dong la ru hang ren shou zhong de yang zi 。shu guai hang ren bu gai shan zi lai zhai guo zi ,hang ren que shui shi guo zi gang hao diao xia lai ,gei ta jie zhao ba le 。zhe chong shi ,zong shi li ying wai ge cai cheng gong de 。dang chu wo zi ji jie hun ,bu ye shi you yi wei shao nv kai men yi dao ma ?“bao lei zui rong yi cong nei bu gong po ”,shui de zhen shi bu cuo 。bu guo bi jshi ye ,ci yi shi ye 。tong yi ge ren ,guo jie shi tao ya qi che 。kai che shi que tao ya hang ren 。xian zai shi lun dao wo lai kai che 。
  好多年来,我已经习于和五个女人为伍,浴室里弥漫着香皂和香水气味,沙发上散置皮包和发卷,餐桌上没有人和我争酒,都是天经地义的事。戏称吾庐为“女生宿舍”,也已经很久了。做了“女生宿舍”的舍监,自然不欢迎陌生的男客,尤其是别有用心的一类。但是自己辖下的女生,尤其是前面的三位,已有“不稳”的现象,却令我想起叶慈的一句诗:  hao duo nian lai ,wo yi jing xi yu he wu ge nv ren wei wu ,yu shi li mi man zhao xiang zao he xiang shui qi wei ,sha fa shang san zhi pi bao he fa juan ,can zhuo shang mei you ren he wo zheng jiu ,dou shi tian jing de yi de shi 。hu chen wu lu wei “nv sheng su she ”,ye yi jing hen jiu le 。zuo le “nv sheng su she ”de she jian ,zi ran bu huan ying mo sheng de nan ke ,you ji shi bie you yong xin de yi lei 。dan shi zi ji he xia de nv sheng ,you ji shi qian mian de san wei ,yi you “bu wen ”de xian xiang ,que ling wo xiang qi xie ci de yi gou shi :
  一切巳崩溃,失去重心。  yi qie si beng hui ,shi qu chong xin 。
  我的四个假想敌,不论是高是矮,是胖是瘦,是学医还是学文,迟早会从我疑惧的迷雾里显出原形,一一走上前来,或迂回曲折,嗫嚅其词,或开门见山,大言不惭,总之要把他的情人,也就是我的女儿,对不起,从此领去。无形的敌人最可怕,何况我在亮处,他在暗里,义有我家的“内奸”接应,真是防不胜防。只怪当初没有把四个女儿及时冷藏,使时间不能拐骗,社会也无由污染。现在她们都已大了,回不了头;我那四个假想敌,那四个鬼鬼祟祟的地下工作者,也都已羽毛丰满,什么力量都阻止不了他们了。先下手为强,这件事•该乘那四个假想敌还在襁褓的时候,就予以解决的。至少美国诗人纳许(OgdenNash,1902—1971)劝我们如此。他在一首妙诗《由女婴之父来唱的歌KSongtoBeSungbytheFatherofInfantFemaleChildren)之中,说他生了女儿吉儿之  wo de si ge jia xiang di ,bu lun shi gao shi ai ,shi pan shi shou ,shi xue yi hai shi xue wen ,chi zao hui cong wo yi ju de mi wu li xian chu yuan xing ,yi yi zou shang qian lai ,huo yu hui qu she ,nie ru ji ci ,huo kai men jian shan ,da yan bu can ,zong zhi yao ba ta de qing ren ,ye jiu shi wo de nv er ,dui bu qi ,cong ci ling qu 。mo xing de di ren zui ke pa ,he kuang wo zai liang chu ,ta zai an li ,yi you wo jia de “nei jian ”jie ying ,zhen shi fang bu sheng fang 。zhi guai dang chu mei you ba si ge nv er ji shi leng cang ,shi shi jian bu neng guai pian ,she hui ye mo you wu ran 。xian zai ta men dou yi da le ,hui bu le tou ;wo na si ge jia xiang di ,na si ge gui gui sui sui de de xia gong zuo zhe ,ye dou yi yu mao feng man ,shen me li liang dou zu zhi bu le ta men le 。xian xia shou wei jiang ,zhe jian shi •gai cheng na si ge jia xiang di hai zai qiang bao de shi hou ,jiu yu yi jie jue de 。zhi shao mei guo shi ren na hu (OgdenNash,1902—1971)quan wo men ru ci 。ta zai yi shou miao shi 《you nv ying zhi fu lai chang de ge KSongtoBeSungbytheFatherofInfantFemaleChildren)zhi zhong ,shui ta sheng le nv er ji er zhi
  后,惴惴不安,感到不知什么地方正有个男婴也在长大,现在虽然还浑浑噩噩,口吐白沫,却注定将来会抢走他的吉儿。于是做父亲的每次在公园里看见婴儿车中的男婴,都不由神色一变,暗暗想道会不会是这家伙?”想着  hou ,zhui zhui bu an ,gan dao bu zhi shen me de fang zheng you ge nan ying ye zai chang da ,xian zai sui ran hai hun hun e e ,kou tu bai mo ,que zhu ding jiang lai hui qiang zou ta de ji er 。yu shi zuo fu qin de mei ci zai gong yuan li kan jian ying er che zhong de nan ying ,dou bu you shen se yi bian ,an an xiang dao hui bu hui shi zhe jia huo ?”xiang zhao
  想着,他“杀机陆萌”(Mydreams,Ifear,areinfanticiddle),便要解开那男婴身上的别针,朝他的爽身粉里撒胡椒粉,把盐撒进他的奶瓶,把沙撒进他的菠菜汁,再扔头优游的鳄鱼到他的婴儿车里陪他游戏,逼他在水深火热之中挣扎而去,去娶别人的女儿。足见诗人以未来的女婿为假想敌,早巳有了前例。  xiang zhao ,ta “sha ji liu meng ”(Mydreams,Ifear,areinfanticiddle),bian yao jie kai na nan ying shen shang de bie zhen ,chao ta de shuang shen fen li sa hu jiao fen ,ba yan sa jin ta de nai ping ,ba sha sa jin ta de bo cai zhi ,zai reng tou you you de e yu dao ta de ying er che li pei ta you hu ,bi ta zai shui shen huo re zhi zhong zheng za er qu ,qu qu bie ren de nv er 。zu jian shi ren yi wei lai de nv xu wei jia xiang di ,zao si you le qian li 。
  不过一切都太迟了。当初没有当机立断,采取非常措施,像纳许诗中所说的那样,真是一大失策。如今的局面,套一句史书上常见的话,已经是“寇入深矣!”女儿的墙上和书桌的玻璃垫下,以前的海报和剪报之类,还是披头,拜丝,大卫•凯西弟的形象,现在纷纷都换上男友了。至少,滩头阵地已经被入侵的军队占领了去,这一仗是必败的了。记得我们小时,这一类的照片仍被列为机密要件,不是藏在枕头套里,贴着梦境,便是夹在书堆深处,偶尔翻出来神往一番,哪有这么二十四小时眼前供奉的?  bu guo yi qie dou tai chi le 。dang chu mei you dang ji li duan ,cai qu fei chang cuo shi ,xiang na hu shi zhong suo shui de na yang ,zhen shi yi da shi ce 。ru jin de ju mian ,tao yi gou shi shu shang chang jian de hua ,yi jing shi “kou ru shen yi !”nv er de qiang shang he shu zhuo de bo li dian xia ,yi qian de hai bao he jian bao zhi lei ,hai shi pi tou ,bai si ,da wei •kai xi di de xing xiang ,xian zai fen fen dou huan shang nan you le 。zhi shao ,tan tou zhen de yi jing bei ru qin de jun dui zhan ling le qu ,zhe yi zhang shi bi bai de le 。ji de wo men xiao shi ,zhe yi lei de zhao pian reng bei lie wei ji mi yao jian ,bu shi cang zai zhen tou tao li ,tie zhao meng jing ,bian shi ga zai shu dui shen chu ,ou er fan chu lai shen wang yi fan ,na you zhe me er shi si xiao shi yan qian gong feng de ?
  这一批形迹可疑的假想敌,究竟是哪年哪月开始入侵厦门街余宅的,已经不可考了。只记得六年前迁港之后,攻城的将士便换了一批口操粤语的少年来接手。至于交战的细节,就得问名义上是守城的那几个女将,我这位“昏君”是再也搞不清的了。只知道敌方的炮火,起先是瞄准我家的信箱,那些歪歪斜斜的笔迹,久了也能猜个七分;继而是集中在我家的电话,“落弹点”就在我书桌的背后,我的文苑就是他们的沙场,一夜之间,总有十几次脑震荡。那些粤音平上去入,有九声之多,也令我难以研判敌情。现在我带幼珊回了厦门街,那头的广东部队轮到我太太去抵挡,我在这头,只要留意台湾健儿,任务就轻松多了。  zhe yi pi xing ji ke yi de jia xiang di ,jiu jing shi na nian na yue kai shi ru qin sha men jie yu zhai de ,yi jing bu ke kao le 。zhi ji de liu nian qian qian gang zhi hou ,gong cheng de jiang shi bian huan le yi pi kou cao yue yu de shao nian lai jie shou 。zhi yu jiao zhan de xi jie ,jiu de wen ming yi shang shi shou cheng de na ji ge nv jiang ,wo zhe wei “hun jun ”shi zai ye gao bu qing de le 。zhi zhi dao di fang de bao huo ,qi xian shi miao zhun wo jia de xin xiang ,na xie wai wai xie xie de bi ji ,jiu le ye neng cai ge qi fen ;ji er shi ji zhong zai wo jia de dian hua ,“la dan dian ”jiu zai wo shu zhuo de bei hou ,wo de wen yuan jiu shi ta men de sha chang ,yi ye zhi jian ,zong you shi ji ci nao zhen dang 。na xie yue yin ping shang qu ru ,you jiu sheng zhi duo ,ye ling wo nan yi yan pan di qing 。xian zai wo dai you shan hui le sha men jie ,na tou de an dong bu dui lun dao wo tai tai qu di dang ,wo zai zhe tou ,zhi yao liu yi tai wan jian er ,ren wu jiu qing song duo le 。
  信箱被袭,只如战争的默片,还不打紧。其实我宁可多情的少年勤写情书,那样至少可以练习作文,不致在视听教育的时代荒废了中文。可怕的还是电话中弹,那一串串瞥告的铃声,把战场从门外的信箱扩至书房的腹地,默片变成了身历声,假想敌在实弹射击了。更可怕的,却是假想敌真的闯进了城来,成了有血有肉的真敌人,不再是假想了好玩的了,就像军事演习到中途,忽然真的打起来了一样。真敌人是看得出来的。在某一女儿的接应之下,他占领了沙发的一角,从此两人呢喃细语,嗫嚅密谈,即使脉脉相对的时候,那气氛也浓得化不开,窒得全家人都透不过气来。这时几个姐妹早已回避得远远的了。任谁都看得出情况有异。万一敌人留下来吃饭,那空气就更为紧张,好像摆好姿势,面对照相机一般。平时鸭塘一般的餐桌,四姐妹这时像在演哑剧,连筷子和调羹都似乎得到了消息,忽然小心翼翼起来。明知这僭越的小子未必就是真命女?,(谁晓得宝贝女儿现在是十八变中的第几变呢?)心里却不由自主升起一股淡淡的敌意。也明知女儿正如将熟之瓜,终有一天会蒂落而去,却希望不是随眼前这自负的小子。  xin xiang bei xi ,zhi ru zhan zheng de mo pian ,hai bu da jin 。ji shi wo ning ke duo qing de shao nian qin xie qing shu ,na yang zhi shao ke yi lian xi zuo wen ,bu zhi zai shi ting jiao yo de shi dai huang fei le zhong wen 。ke pa de hai shi dian hua zhong dan ,na yi chuan chuan pie gao de ling sheng ,ba zhan chang cong men wai de xin xiang kuo zhi shu fang de fu de ,mo pian bian cheng le shen li sheng ,jia xiang di zai shi dan she ji le 。geng ke pa de ,que shi jia xiang di zhen de chuang jin le cheng lai ,cheng le you xie you rou de zhen di ren ,bu zai shi jia xiang le hao wan de le ,jiu xiang jun shi yan xi dao zhong tu ,hu ran zhen de da qi lai le yi yang 。zhen di ren shi kan de chu lai de 。zai mou yi nv er de jie ying zhi xia ,ta zhan ling le sha fa de yi jiao ,cong ci liang ren ne nan xi yu ,nie ru mi tan ,ji shi mai mai xiang dui de shi hou ,na qi fen ye nong de hua bu kai ,zhi de quan jia ren dou tou bu guo qi lai 。zhe shi ji ge jie mei zao yi hui bi de yuan yuan de le 。ren shei dou kan de chu qing kuang you yi 。mo yi di ren liu xia lai chi fan ,na kong qi jiu geng wei jin zhang ,hao xiang bai hao zi shi ,mian dui zhao xiang ji yi ban 。ping shi ya tang yi ban de can zhuo ,si jie mei zhe shi xiang zai yan e ju ,lian kuai zi he diao geng dou shi hu de dao le xiao xi ,hu ran xiao xin yi yi qi lai 。ming zhi zhe jian yue de xiao zi wei bi jiu shi zhen ming nv ?,(shei xiao de bao bei nv er xian zai shi shi ba bian zhong de di ji bian ne ?)xin li que bu you zi zhu sheng qi yi gu dan dan de di yi 。ye ming zhi nv er zheng ru jiang shou zhi gua ,zhong you yi tian hui di la er qu ,que xi wang bu shi sui yan qian zhe zi fu de xiao zi 。
  当然,四个女儿也自有不乖的时候,在恼怒的心情下,我就恨不得四个假想敌赶快出现,把她们统统带走。但是那一天真要来到时,我一定又会懊悔不已。我能够想象,人生的两大寂寞,一是退休之日,一是最小的孩子终于也结婚之后。宋淇有一天对我说真羡慕你的女儿全在身边!”真的吗?至少目前我并不觉得,自己有什么可羡之处。也许真要等到最小的季珊也跟着假想敌度蜜月去了,才会和我存并坐在空空的长沙发上,翻阅她们、小时的相簿,追忆从前,六人一车长途壮游的盛况,或是晚餐桌上,热气蒸腾,大家共享的灿烂灯光。人生有许多事情,正如船后的波纹,总要过后才觉得美的。这样一想,又希望那四个假想敌,那四个生手笨脚的小伙子,还是多吃几口闭门羹,慢一点出现吧。  dang ran ,si ge nv er ye zi you bu guai de shi hou ,zai nao nu de xin qing xia ,wo jiu hen bu de si ge jia xiang di gan kuai chu xian ,ba ta men tong tong dai zou 。dan shi na yi tian zhen yao lai dao shi ,wo yi ding you hui ao hui bu yi 。wo neng gou xiang xiang ,ren sheng de liang da ji mo ,yi shi tui xiu zhi ri ,yi shi zui xiao de hai zi zhong yu ye jie hun zhi hou 。song qi you yi tian dui wo shui zhen xian mu ni de nv er quan zai shen bian !”zhen de ma ?zhi shao mu qian wo bing bu jiao de ,zi ji you shen me ke xian zhi chu 。ye hu zhen yao deng dao zui xiao de ji shan ye gen zhao jia xiang di du mi yue qu le ,cai hui he wo cun bing zuo zai kong kong de chang sha fa shang ,fan yue ta men 、xiao shi de xiang bu ,zhui yi cong qian ,liu ren yi che chang tu zhuang you de cheng kuang ,huo shi wan can zhuo shang ,re qi zheng teng ,da jia gong xiang de can lan deng guang 。ren sheng you hu duo shi qing ,zheng ru chuan hou de bo wen ,zong yao guo hou cai jiao de mei de 。zhe yang yi xiang ,you xi wang na si ge jia xiang di ,na si ge sheng shou ben jiao de xiao huo zi ,hai shi duo chi ji kou bi men geng ,man yi dian chu xian ba 。
  袁枚写诗,把生女儿说成“情疑中副车”;这书袋掉得很有意思,却也流露了重男轻女的封建意识。照袁枚的说法,我是连中了四次副车,命中率够高的了。余宅的四个小女孩现在变成了四个小妇人,在假想敌环伺之下,若问我择婿有何条件,一时倒恐怕答不上来。沉吟半晌,我也许会说这件事情,上有月下老人的婚姻谱,谁也不能窜改,包括韦固,下有两个海誓山盟的情人,‘二人同心,其利断金’,我凭什么要逆天拂人,梗在中间?何况终身大事,神秘莫测,事先无法推理,事后不能悔棋,就算交给二十一世纪的电脑,恐怕也算不出什么或然率来。倒不如故示慷慨,伪作轻松,博一个开明父亲的美名,到时候带颗私章,去做主婚人就是了。”问的人笑了起来,指着我说什么叫做‘伪作轻松’?可见你心里并不轻松。”  yuan mei xie shi ,ba sheng nv er shui cheng “qing yi zhong fu che ”;zhe shu dai diao de hen you yi sai ,que ye liu lou le chong nan qing nv de feng jian yi shi 。zhao yuan mei de shui fa ,wo shi lian zhong le si ci fu che ,ming zhong lv gou gao de le 。yu zhai de si ge xiao nv hai xian zai bian cheng le si ge xiao fu ren ,zai jia xiang di huan ci zhi xia ,re wen wo ze xu you he tiao jian ,yi shi dao kong pa da bu shang lai 。chen yin ban shang ,wo ye hu hui shui zhe jian shi qing ,shang you yue xia lao ren de hun yin pu ,shei ye bu neng cuan gai ,bao gua wei gu ,xia you liang ge hai shi shan meng de qing ren ,‘er ren tong xin ,ji li duan jin ’,wo ping shen me yao ni tian bi ren ,geng zai zhong jian ?he kuang zhong shen da shi ,shen bi mo ce ,shi xian mo fa tui li ,shi hou bu neng hui qi ,jiu suan jiao gei er shi yi shi ji de dian nao ,kong pa ye suan bu chu shen me huo ran lv lai 。dao bu ru gu shi kang kai ,wei zuo qing song ,bo yi ge kai ming fu qin de mei ming ,dao shi hou dai ke si zhang ,qu zuo zhu hun ren jiu shi le 。”wen de ren xiao le qi lai ,zhi zhao wo shui shen me jiao zuo ‘wei zuo qing song ’?ke jian ni xin li bing bu qing song 。”
  我当然不很轻松,否则就不是她们的父亲了。例如人种的问题,就很令人烦恼。万一女儿发痴,爱上一个耸肩摊手口香糖嚼个不停的小怪人,该怎么办呢?在理性上,我愿意“有婿无类”,做一个大大方方的世界公民。但是在感情上,还没有大方到让一个臂毛如猿的小伙子把我的女儿抱过门槛。现在当然不再是“严夷夏之防”的时代,但是一任单纯的家庭扩充成一个小型的联合国,也大可不必。问的人又笑了,问我可曾听说混血儿的聪明超乎常人。我说听过,但是我不希罕抱一个天才的‘混血孙’。我不要一个天才儿童叫我Grandpa,我要他叫我外公。”问的人不肯罢休那么省籍呢?”  wo dang ran bu hen qing song ,fou ze jiu bu shi ta men de fu qin le 。li ru ren chong de wen ti ,jiu hen ling ren fan nao 。mo yi nv er fa chi ,ai shang yi ge song jian tan shou kou xiang tang jiao ge bu ting de xiao guai ren ,gai zen me ban ne ?zai li xing shang ,wo yuan yi “you xu mo lei ”,zuo yi ge da da fang fang de shi jie gong min 。dan shi zai gan qing shang ,hai mei you da fang dao rang yi ge bei mao ru yuan de xiao huo zi ba wo de nv er bao guo men jian 。xian zai dang ran bu zai shi “yan yi xia zhi fang ”de shi dai ,dan shi yi ren chan chun de jia ting kuo chong cheng yi ge xiao xing de lian ge guo ,ye da ke bu bi 。wen de ren you xiao le ,wen wo ke ceng ting shui hun xie er de cong ming chao hu chang ren 。wo shui ting guo ,dan shi wo bu xi han bao yi ge tian cai de ‘hun xie sun ’。wo bu yao yi ge tian cai er tong jiao wo Grandpa,wo yao ta jiao wo wai gong 。”wen de ren bu ken ba xiu na me sheng ji ne ?”
  “省籍无所谓,”我说,“我就是苏闽联姻的结果,还不坏吧?当初我母亲从福建写信回武进,说当地有人向她求婚。娘家大惊小怪,说:‘那么远!怎么就嫁给南蛮!’后来娘家发现,除了言语不通之外,这位闽南姑爷并无可疑之处。这几年,广东男孩锲而不舍,对我家的压力很大,有一天闽粤结成了秦晋,我也不会感到意外。如果有个台湾少年特别巴结我,其志又不在跟我谈文论诗,我也不会怎么为难他的。至于其他各省,从黑龙江直到云南,口操各种方言的少年,只要我女儿不嫌他,我自然也欢迎。”  “sheng ji mo suo wei ,”wo shui ,“wo jiu shi su min lian yin de jie guo ,hai bu huai ba ?dang chu wo mu qin cong fu jian xie xin hui wu jin ,shui dang de you ren xiang ta qiu hun 。niang jia da jing xiao guai ,shui :‘na me yuan !zen me jiu jia gei na man !’hou lai niang jia fa xian ,chu le yan yu bu tong zhi wai ,zhe wei min na gu ye bing mo ke yi zhi chu 。zhe ji nian ,an dong nan hai qie er bu she ,dui wo jia de ya li hen da ,you yi tian min yue jie cheng le qin jin ,wo ye bu hui gan dao yi wai 。ru guo you ge tai wan shao nian te bie ba jie wo ,ji zhi you bu zai gen wo tan wen lun shi ,wo ye bu hui zen me wei nan ta de 。zhi yu ji ta ge sheng ,cong hei long jiang zhi dao yun na ,kou cao ge chong fang yan de shao nian ,zhi yao wo nv er bu xian ta ,wo zi ran ye huan ying 。”
  “那么学识呢?”  “na me xue shi ne ?”
  “学什么都可以。也不一定要是学者,学者往往不是好女婿,更不是好丈夫。只有一点:中文必须精通。中文不通,将祸延吾孙!”  “xue shen me dou ke yi 。ye bu yi ding yao shi xue zhe ,xue zhe wang wang bu shi hao nv xu ,geng bu shi hao zhang fu 。zhi you yi dian :zhong wen bi xu jing tong 。zhong wen bu tong ,jiang huo yan wu sun !”
  客又笑了。“相貌重不重要?”他再问。  ke you xiao le 。“xiang mao chong bu chong yao ?”ta zai wen 。
  “你真是迂阔之至!”这次轮到我发笑了,“这种事,我女儿自己会注意,怎么会要我来操心?”  “ni zhen shi yu kuo zhi zhi !”zhe ci lun dao wo fa xiao le ,“zhe chong shi ,wo nv er zi ji hui zhu yi ,zen me hui yao wo lai cao xin ?”
  笨客还想问下去,忽然门铃响起。我起身去开大门,发现长发乱处,又一个假想敌来掠余宅。  ben ke hai xiang wen xia qu ,hu ran men ling xiang qi 。wo qi shen qu kai da men ,fa xian chang fa luan chu ,you yi ge jia xiang di lai lve yu zhai 。
  一九八?年九月于台北  yi jiu ba ?nian jiu yue yu tai bei
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  fan hui yu guang zhong san wen lie biao

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