我们将折磨的终点定义成极乐我们甘愿为痛苦装饰花环我们心里永远有一处彼岸我们把命运当作渡船我们把思念的尽头托付给天空我们看青烟袅袅散去无踪我们遽然触及血脉的起点凝望这一方小小坑洞我们凭琐碎的短暂拼凑出永恒我们用节律和起伏挽住灵魂我们告别在大千世界的岔口再也叩不响彼此的大门(不知为何,加了题记总是不成功,无奈只好写在下面。这首诗我想献给刚刚逝去的祖父,题记再三不忍删去,还望编辑老师理解宽容。)依稀记得,童年的某个黄昏,不常登门的祖父来到我家。当时我父母均未下班,我正在院子里做作业。祖父是个威严而爽朗的汉子,身材高大、声音洪亮、做事风风火火,我们孙儿辈平素对其颇为敬畏。因此我见到他来后,便装出十分努力的样子。他起初浑然不觉,按习惯进门前重重跺了几次脚,发出一声长嘘,然后灌了几口热水准备离开。也许是看到我写作业的样子吧,祖父改变了主意,而是在我身边蹲了下来,饶有兴趣地摸了摸我的头。按我现在的猜测,他也许那天下午喝了酒,才会那样反常般兴致盎然——他突然捡起一块小瓦片,在地上写了几行字:木每梅花树木口杏花香山山出花果不见觅花郎我很意外,印象中他并不算有文化,据说解放前读过几年私塾,解放初上了扫盲班,之后勉强能读书看报而已。却没想到他的字写得那么好,写得东西那般高深。他没注意我的表情,而是大声地给我讲解起来,接着意犹未尽,又写了几行拆字诗,“立木见親门口问,西示风飘古月胡”之类的,我还记忆犹新。我从未见过——无论之前还是之后——祖父这般神情,现在想来怕是我当时的表现给了他一种很微妙的感受:也许他是农民出身,膝下儿女虽多却无一超出中学文凭,我当时小学成绩尚佳被认为家中唯一能读书考大学之人,令他老怀堪慰;更也许是我幼小的身姿,不自觉勾起了他童蒙伏案的回忆,令他搜肠刮肚拿出了那段私塾的存货,觉得应该馈赠于我,像是履行了某种传承……事后,他拍拍手若无其事般离去。而我以后也没再问过他彼时彼景的感受,他也许也不再记得。我们就像每对祖孙般那样,逐渐从对方生活中淡去。直到多年后后,我猛然醒觉,自己对“诗”的启蒙或许就源于那天……但是,我终究没来得及对他说,他便这样走了——就在两天前,与突如其来的脑梗搏斗48小时之后,在我深夜赶程前来送终的路上,电话里听着我的声音,他永远闭上了眼睛!于是,我写下这首短诗,以资纪念和告慰他,也告诉他我如何万般悲痛和空虚。2019年5月3日 | wo men jiang she mo de zhong dian ding yi cheng ji le wo men gan yuan wei tong ku zhuang shi hua huan wo men xin li yong yuan you yi chu bi an wo men ba ming yun dang zuo du chuan wo men ba sai nian de jin tou tuo fu gei tian kong wo men kan qing yan niao niao san qu mo zong wo men ju ran chu ji xie mai de qi dian ning wang zhe yi fang xiao xiao keng dong wo men ping suo sui de duan zan pin cou chu yong heng wo men yong jie lv he qi fu wan zhu ling hun wo men gao bie zai da qian shi jie de cha kou zai ye kou bu xiang bi ci de da men (bu zhi wei he ,jia le ti ji zong shi bu cheng gong ,mo nai zhi hao xie zai xia mian 。zhe shou shi wo xiang suo gei gang gang shi qu de zu fu ,ti ji zai san bu ren shan qu ,hai wang bian ji lao shi li jie kuan rong 。)yi xi ji de ,tong nian de mou ge huang hun ,bu chang deng men de zu fu lai dao wo jia 。dang shi wo fu mu jun wei xia ban ,wo zheng zai yuan zi li zuo zuo ye 。zu fu shi ge wei yan er shuang lang de han zi ,shen cai gao da 、sheng yin hong liang 、zuo shi feng feng huo huo ,wo men sun er bei ping su dui ji po wei jing wei 。yin ci wo jian dao ta lai hou ,bian zhuang chu shi fen nu li de yang zi 。ta qi chu hun ran bu jiao ,an xi guan jin men qian chong chong duo le ji ci jiao ,fa chu yi sheng chang shi ,ran hou guan le ji kou re shui zhun bei li kai 。ye hu shi kan dao wo xie zuo ye de yang zi ba ,zu fu gai bian le zhu yi ,er shi zai wo shen bian cun le xia lai ,rao you xing qu de mo le mo wo de tou 。an wo xian zai de cai ce ,ta ye hu na tian xia wu he le jiu ,cai hui na yang fan chang ban xing zhi ang ran ——ta tu ran jian qi yi kuai xiao wa pian ,zai de shang xie le ji hang zi :mu mei mei hua shu mu kou xing hua xiang shan shan chu hua guo bu jian mi hua lang wo hen yi wai ,yin xiang zhong ta bing bu suan you wen hua ,ju shui jie fang qian dou guo ji nian si shu ,jie fang chu shang le sao mang ban ,zhi hou mian jiang neng dou shu kan bao er yi 。que mei xiang dao ta de zi xie de na me hao ,xie de dong xi na ban gao shen 。ta mei zhu yi wo de biao qing ,er shi da sheng de gei wo jiang jie qi lai ,jie zhao yi you wei jin ,you xie le ji hang ca zi shi ,“li mu jian 親men kou wen ,xi shi feng piao gu yue hu ”zhi lei de ,wo hai ji yi you xin 。wo cong wei jian guo ——mo lun zhi qian hai shi zhi hou ——zu fu zhe ban shen qing ,xian zai xiang lai pa shi wo dang shi de biao xian gei le ta yi chong hen wei miao de gan shou :ye hu ta shi nong min chu shen ,xi xia er nv sui duo que mo yi chao chu zhong xue wen ping ,wo dang shi xiao xue cheng ji shang jia bei ren wei jia zhong wei yi neng dou shu kao da xue zhi ren ,ling ta lao huai kan wei ;geng ye hu shi wo you xiao de shen zi ,bu zi jiao gou qi le ta tong meng fu an de hui yi ,ling ta sou chang gua du na chu le na duan si shu de cun huo ,jiao de ying gai kui zeng yu wo ,xiang shi lv hang le mou chong chuan cheng ……shi hou ,ta pai pai shou re mo ji shi ban li qu 。er wo yi hou ye mei zai wen guo ta bi shi bi jing de gan shou ,ta ye hu ye bu zai ji de 。wo men jiu xiang mei dui zu sun ban na yang ,zhu jian cong dui fang sheng huo zhong dan qu 。zhi dao duo nian hou hou ,wo meng ran xing jiao ,zi ji dui “shi ”de qi meng huo hu jiu yuan yu na tian ……dan shi ,wo zhong jiu mei lai de ji dui ta shui ,ta bian zhe yang zou le ——jiu zai liang tian qian ,yu tu ru ji lai de nao geng bo dou 48xiao shi zhi hou ,zai wo shen ye gan cheng qian lai song zhong de lu shang ,dian hua li ting zhao wo de sheng yin ,ta yong yuan bi shang le yan jing !yu shi ,wo xie xia zhe shou duan shi ,yi zi ji nian he gao wei ta ,ye gao su ta wo ru he mo ban bei tong he kong xu 。2019nian 5yue 3ri |
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